Feature
Heart at Work
Savin' his pennies for someday
Mama Leone left a note on the door,
She said,
"Sonny, move out to the country"
Oh, but workin' too hard can give you
A heart attack-ak-ak-ak-ak-ak
You oughta know by now
... And it seems such a waste of time
If that's what it's all about
Mama if that's movin' up then I'm movin' out.
~Billy Joel
Anthony's Song |
"I can't believe it happened to me!
I can't believe it happened to us!"
On May 12th, in the wee hours following Mother's day. I was awakened to find my husband of 34 years sitting up in bed in silent distress. Moments later we were on our way to our local hospital, about 20 minutes away. It wasn't until I watched my husband being lifted onto an ambulance gurney that I truly understood the enormity of what was happening. As if in an altered state, I heard the words of the ER doctor telling my 58-year old husband: You are suffering a massive heart attack.
How could that be? Mark is my hunk, my anchor.
In those moments of "shock and awe", I instantly knew we were now entering a new "after".
As I made calls to those who would want to know, tears came as I realized that I almost had to make these same outreach connections for a far worse reality, Mark's sudden passing. We were spared.
Now a month later, we are still moving in and out of a surreal state of suspension. We swing chaotically from what was "before" to what is now our new reality: the early days of "after".
Life goes on and we are eternally grateful for another chance together. We are changed forever, right down to the cellular level. And it ain't over yet!
But what does this have to do with you, your business and our times?
I don't have to remind you that these are challenging times. No one can deny that we are in the middle of a systemic breakdown. We all know of some company, industry…maybe even your own firm…which is teetering on the brink, some are holding on for dear life, while others are smartly preparing for when the new times arrive.
The white elephant in everyone's living room is definitely the recession. We all know someone we care about... perhaps ourselves or our spouse or child, who are being forced into uncertainty as we move from Toffler's 2nd wave, the Industrial Age, further into the Information Age, the 3rd Wave. Perhaps the 4th wave, the Age of Consciousness, is just around the curve.
This is a structural change. Things will never be the same. The new status quo is being formed. Greatness is now being reclaimed.
As we move through this epoch turning, we Boomers are shifting yet again – now catapulted into midlife with all its attendant deeper questions and new developmental tasks-- we find ourselves in the middle, the "between times", both internally and externally.
Before his heart attack my husband and I talked about where we are in life and where we want to be headed.
We were doing all the "right" things so we could determine alternative scenarios for our possible future. We were taking care or ourselves, exercising, living fully and close to nature. Mark played racquetball several times a week and we loved to walk our country roads. On top of that, we have tons of love in our life and are still crazy nuts over each other.
But we didn't think to have an emergency plan for those unexpected and always possible triggering events, e.g., heart attacks or strokes, which come suddenly as if out of left field. Come it did. My husband's heart attack is one big wake-up call.
| Future Factoid |
| The average age of widowhood is 56 years old! |
How could we not have a plan in place? Especially, how could I have been so unprepared-- the ultimate contingency maven? Do yourself and me a favor, check out how your ambulance system works and which hospital you'd want to go to.
Folks ask me what I've learned from this too close for comfort brush with Death.
We are back to the basics again. It's all about time. Yet that's the one
element that is not renewable. When we are in an in-between time, like we are now, time itself both stands still and speeds up.
We are on call: In a moment's notice change comes and whomps! Especially in midlife and most certainly now in mid and later careers.
| Future Factoid |
| Every 34 seconds someone has a heart attack. |
Whenever things get dicey, like it did for us, it's a lifesaver to remember to take a big picture view of what's going on. When I'm in the midst of chaotic change, I always stop myself and center. Then I write in psychedelic neon colors on my inner forehead these flashing words: "This is temporary!"
But, it's not always easy to stand outside of the moment and still stay in present time.
However, being in the present moment is our first line of defense. Clearly that is what my husband and I did as he made it back to this side of our mortal divide. It's the only way we will hear our bodies readjusting and realigning. My husband almost didn't listen, but his body had been giving him subtle signals, making every attempt to get his attention so he could get back in sync.
During times of crisis like this one, we are often reminded of what we know deeply already -- our inner wisdom -- we become more available to its guiding us to a new What's Next.
And these days, we all need to stay connected as much as possible to that wisdom.
We are smack dab in the middle of the steepest downturn since the depression. No surprise so many of us are on edge. Global and local chaos and discontinuous change are the norm. Most of us are without a clue as to how to get to the "promised land" ...again.
The upswings and downs will no doubt get stronger as we make our way into these middle times -- between what was and what will be. Once we own the temporary-ness perspective in our body, we will be able to shift quickly into present time and at the same time look towards creating a future that works.
Whether you are 45 or entering your 60's, we find ourselves more vulnerable to outer forces. Like my husband and I, many of us find ourselves unexpectedly thrust between "before" and "after".
For those of us who thought we'd bypass a midlife crisis – we were just too busy living our lives and riding high in the fast lane to make the time for it. Then along came the recession. Kpow!
"Revolution always wears 2 faces. One is the angry face of disintegration. Old things tear apart and crash. The second is the smiling face of reintegration. Things, both old and new, are plugged together in novel ways."
~~Alvin & Heidi Toffler, Revolutionary Wealth |
Not skilled in living with intense uncertainty, we want to check out. No dark woods for us. Must have been a tough journey for 40 days and nights in the desert?! For now, I'll choose to muddle in the middle again versus over and out.
Do you remember the bridge in mid 19th century France that vibrated into vapors? Experts realized later that the matching of the soldiers' step frequency with the bridge's natural vibration frequency caused the bridge to shake until it disappeared into thin air -- our world and way of life are going through a similar big shake-up and shake-out. We will either evolve to an even higher state of consciousness and elevated action or we too will dissipate into oblivion way before our time.
So hang on for quite a ride.
But do not despair. There is hope. Lots of it. That is what renewal and reinvention are all about. It requires that wherever you are on the continuum of transition, from what was to what will be, that you trust the process enough to expect a new beginning to be realized.
That's why it's important not to waste a perfectly good recession no matter what your age or life-cycle, nor where you find yourself or what comes to greet you as you move forward.
Remember no one escapes! We all will get caught in the backdraft of these changing ages. Its how we handle these transitions that counts.
Will you be a survivor or fall victim unable to return topside?
Even when we know what our intended outcomes are and we have a plan, we are not in total control. As the John Lennon wrote, "Life happens when you are busy making other plans."
We may not be able to control outside forces, but sometimes we can bend them to our will. Being in the present moment fully is one way of taking back our sense of mastery over our lives. This is what my husband and I have done as he made it back to this side of our mortal divide. It's what our bodies know how to do best.
I'm a big proponent of routine "reality checks". No better time than the present to do one in your life. A recession or any "upset" presents a unique opportunity to re-evaluate your business model, career and your quality of life. It's a great time for course correction.
The paradigm shift rate is now doubling every decade. Surprisingly few people account for that idea in their projections."
~Ray Kurzweil |
By default, "more with less" has become our new way of life here and abroad. We are learning how to really let go even though instant gratification worked for a long while.
But we are called upon now to shift the paradigm once again. What once satisfied no longer does. What matters most calls out for attention. We are being asked to accept change rather than fight it. If we do, the "right" doors will open and we will find ourselves in a new What's Next that is both sustainable and meaningful.
I can guarantee you that we can create a future that works much better than it does now. I also promise you that we can build a money-making future that matters. It can be ours. Obama has shown us that by harnessing our collective power for positive change, change happens.
So it's a given: We can create an alternative future by changing how we think, what we believe is possible and how we act to manifest that new reality.
Now more than ever, we must acquire profound knowledge and hone our understanding of change and transition. No matter where you find yourself or your company or career, this knowledge can make the difference between thriving or becoming extinct.
First find out where you are. It's kind of hard to rethink your life or reposition your firm if you believe it's too late or you're too old. If you want to be the old washed up S.O.S. pink soap pad we heard about growing up, then stop reading now.
Over the hill at 40 or 60 is no longer a truism. Doing what you excel at and making a difference is here to stay. But making sure you have what it takes to make it through this next collective and personal renewal is mandatory. Now is the time for re-examination of everything…a reordering so that when wild cards get tossed your way you can land on your feet, not 6 feet under.
These churning times demand that we get "heart smart" and "soul wise".
Soul and heart are what's needed now. Being in our bodies and elevating our consciousness rank high on all developmental models.
Whenever in doubt, I always turn back to Abraham Maslow's foundational "hierarchy of skills" depicted as a pyramid. It's a great place to get your bearings, your coordinates. Maslow places "survival and security" at the bottom of the pyramid while up at the top is "self-actualization".
Although many of you reading this have already made it to the "top", you may find yourself climbing the slippery slopes again. While others, albeit a smaller percentage of you, are still sitting high with certainty that this too will pass. If you are, you have the sacred responsibility to lead the way.
No matter who we are or what we do for a living, one of the key developmental skills we often leave behind when times are good is listening to our body. I don't mean hedonistic pleasuring or even noting our newly aching joints. Don't get me wrong, I love my massages, a walk on the beach and a romantic rendezvous. It's just that the really important callings can't rise above the din of our ordinary lives and workdays.
Sometimes the messages are physical – alarm signals warning us of inherent danger like a new shortness of breath doing something you've done a gazillion times before, or reoccurring indigestion you think is just the spicy food you ate. Other times, what I call our "truth verifiers" notify us of something happening outside our ordinary senses. I get a wave of heat rising through my body; others feel a familiar shake or chill.
If we are fortunate, we recognize our synchronistic messengers who show up just when we need them most…both in real time and
dream time.
My husband had one of those night-time messengers, a prophetic dream shortly before he suffered his heart attack. As he tells it, he was told that his number wasn't up…it had been given to someone else! That dream kept him going until he was fully back in his body days later. Today, he is both chilled and warmed by this auspicious message from his unconscious buried deeply within his body.
Now we get to start anew…taking our earned wisdom front and center. We are doing "deep" – going even deeper down to a level we've never been before. It's another experience. But it is here, in our body that we will find the resources we need to renew and re-engage.
How we reinvent our world, our new future, takes on more import than at any other time in our life…because now time is more fleeting for us as we muddle in the middle. We are learning our limits and letting go of worn out images as we wait for the new to emerge. Those of us who embrace change and are willing to elevate our consciousness will usher in new ways and new ideas that will invite greater innovation and creativity, transforming our world and ourselves.
"It's not how much you know, it's how soon!"
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