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Moving on is never simple. The hardest part is letting go of “what was” before there’s a “what will be”. Changing careers, closing shop, relocating or calling it quits on a relationship, thrusts us into this same muddle of the middle.

Years ago we left Manhattan and headed for the hills…the soulful foothills of the Berkshires in northwest Connecticut. First as a weekender, then full-time. I still pinch myself in amazement that we are so fortunate to be the stewards of our magical nature preserve. I assumed I’d be leaving our place as ashes thrown into the wind. I just couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. Knowing how attached we all get to homes, people we love and the positions that define us, I’d remind myself and my husband Mark: “A time will come when it will be our turn to let go, move on.”

It would be so easy to stay right where we are and continue watching the Bluebirds nest and ducking as our resident River Heron’s wide wings flap over our shoulders. Our souls have been filled to the max here, but now something new is beckoning.

But where do we want to be next? We’ve started the search in earnest, along with so many other Boomers and empty nesters. It’s not just an age appropriate revaluation; it’s also an invaluable question to pose every time we find ourselves with change knocking on our door.

Some of us are just fine where we are. Many others are forced to make a “short-sale” or go into foreclosure. Others are plain stuck waiting for the market to up-tick so they can recoup assets to move on. But the fundamental question remains the same: Do we stay where we are or is it time for something new? I find myself drawn towards a total redesign and retread phase.

The Big Shift is coming! Only those prepared need apply!

You, Mother Earth and me will continue to go through more ‘n more shakeups and breakdowns so something new, more evolved will emerge. It’s just the way it is. All self-correcting systems continue to “Grow or Die”. Which is it for you?

Most times, endings aren’t pleasant or simple. More and more I find that new beginnings-in-the-making are vague and un-chartered. It is this in-between time that is such a bear. But it holds the most potential for evolutionary transformation as we have the opportunity to morph into something totally new. Yet bring along the best of what was.

I hear lots of stories of folks who did their due diligence, made change happen and rode out the good times. But that’s where they went unconscious and stopped doing routine Reality Checks. Then zap, down for the count.

I see the same thing happen with many of us. We fall off the wagon so to speak. Caught up in our busy Life is Good phase we don’t make the time to perform a routine personal “intake” on our relationships, businesses, our careers or ourselves.

Whenever its “me” considering a major change, I get brought back to human-size pretty fast. I know its time for a Reality Check before I make any new decisions. Back to the drawing board, I review my current list of “Success Criteria” to be sure they are still valid.

We’ve been house hunting to get a true idea about communities and ways of living out west. It’s easy to get lost in a gorgeous canyon hacienda or mountain retreat, but can we live and work here?

Entering foreclosed homes is even harder than I expected. The upset is palpable. A 40-ish couple gave us a personal tour of their beloved home pointing out their Zen-like improvements. But the Zen garden tells it all: weeds are growing wildly. Caught in the difficult throes of a love/hate separation from the life that was, these newlyweds didn’t want to leave their house of dreams. It’s a heavy hit to witness someone else’s total loss… while we are hoping to find our next nirvana.

When things get tough or I feel unsure, the Boy Scout’s motto comes to mind: “Be prepared.” Preparation is what is required of us if we want to find our “right” next home base – whether it’s in our personal futures, our careers and even in the markets we serve. But so few of us know where to begin, much less how. This was the case with my client Phyllis* who after making “V.P.” hid under the radar at work in fear she’d be found out. Turning 39 she realized that she was at a major turning point. It was now or never.

Taking a huge risk, she examined her probable future—what would happen if nothing changed? She didn’t like what she saw. In time Phyllis “owned” that it was time to leave. Bewildered and unsure she’d ask “But where to?” Digging deep she found her answers...and her authentic Self. The “Great Recession” almost stopped her in her tracks. “Keeping the Faith” in the process, she’s hung in even when things looked pretty grim. In fact, she’s risen to the top of her company’s list as a “new thought leader” and an in-demand expert. Phyllis has redefined success on her own terms.

Doing due diligence, embracing who she really is and applying futures thinking, Phyllis has created several preferred possible futures. At the same time she’s making sure that her current probable future turns out better than it might have. Phyllis has taken hold of her future; it no longer has a hold on her.

Doing the same due diligence as Phyllis did, my husband and I are crafting our alternative futures so we are more likely to end up with our preferred future, rather than blindly ending up where we are headed now.

Finding our place in the world is an ongoing process. I know this in my bones—right down to the cellular level, but every time I face major change, (whether self-driven or unexpectedly from left field,) I have to go through the same process everyone else does.

Making major change is not something to rush. Especially when every illusionary marker of success is shattered and truth as we knew it is gone lost. Erratic change can bring us to our knees and raise us to our feet.

I prefer a more prepared approach. The dramatic difference in survival rates after Haiti’s quake versus Chile’s 8.8 quake is a tragic testament to the importance of being prepared for our probable future. Life happens. Change and disruption are the only constants. Nature is always righting herself. So must we.

I want to have everything in place to withstand whatever comes my way. That’s why I’m in Phoenix for the winter. We are trying it on for “fit”. We are searching for data to support or refute our moving here, either part-time or full. So like my client Phyllis, we can return east armed with well-tested scenarios.

It’s never just the facts that point us to our true north. We are paying close attention to our “Truth Verifiers”, (involuntary signals from our body), while watching for messengers and signposts that will stir our inner knowing and reveal aha’s we might not normally notice.

Then we met Helen. Perhaps my most important messenger yet. A stunningly elegant, vibrant and still active entrepreneur in her late 80’s, Helen captured me with her personal stories of a life fully lived here. She is the epitome of my version of the Pareto Principle: Hold nothing back -- do 80% of your life’s greatest work in the last 20! Helen just might be the clincher for me! I now hold Helen as my benchmark vision of a life that is possible in the valley of the sun, even when it’s my turn to become an elder.

Taking the slow(er) road has kept us in motion so we can find our our true momentum.

“When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”
~Yogi Bera

© 2010 Karen Sands/Future Works Institute, Ltd. All rights reserved. May not be duplicated, retransmitted or reproduced without permission. Future Works® is the registered trademark of Future Works Institute, Ltd.

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