Telling the truth is a hard thing to do. So sometimes we don't. Instead we push things out of our view, under the carpet. It's especially easy, (even a sanity-saver,) in environments that do not support our well being, much less our greatness. But the universe is fast giving us evidence that when we fail to tell the truth as fast as we can, breakdown results. It's quite apparent in today's headlines--continuing proof of process breakdown and an impending system implosion. Like our recent U.S. midterm election results demonstrate, only self-correction towards center will lead us to our next evolutionary breakthrough.

Alice, a 37yr old described how she felt like a total fraud. I immediately recognized what I call the Sham SyndromeSM taking over her world view. Having done all the right things to get ahead, she wanted to hide out, disappear into the woodwork. Now that she was promoted to a Senior Partner at a world renowned firm, Alice was sure the roof would fall in! She'd finally be found out!

Then there's Teresa, a gypsy of a soul, almost 50 yrs.old, who had struggled for her own truth for so long. Once a high-powered globe trotting marketing executive, she had stayed in a marriage that just didn't work anymore to protect the kids. Her marriage was so broken it could not be fixed. Finally she struck out on her own. Good fortune has shined on her.

Bill, a long time leader in his field just didn't know what he wanted to do next. Having had his fill of corporate life on the road, he wanted to shift gears so that he could be close to home base, do what he loves and still be in the game. He worried that he couldn't make a late mid-career change. Who would want him at his age? he'd worry. He was afraid he'd be found out, and not considered.

But life is too fleeting for feeding this dragon. Like the mythical heroes and goddesses of old, Ulysses and Inanna before us, we have come to a crossroads in our lives and in our time. If we are to transform the dragon, we must first tame it with honesty and truth telling…as fast as we can.

If our own home fires fan deceit and denial, how can we expect to find the truth elsewhere? No wonder so many of us are unhappy about what we do and whom we're with or not with. To live the life we are meant to live…to be the change we want to see… we have to take a reality check to be sure we are telling ourselves the truth about our personal lives, our workplace and business, our economy, our globe.

The "truth" is that when we are out of sync anywhere in our life and work, e.g., not being truthful with ourselves, we go out of whack. Our soul starves. Thirsty for more, we drive ourselves to succeed over the top, only to find the bucket at the end of the rainbow doesn't fill us. There are others of us who still don't believe we deserve our success. So instead we do everything in our power to self-sabotage. We choose not to start telling the truth, but to live by rules that aren't our own, always trying to live somebody else's truth.

Sooner or later, the signs of breakdown start to show up. Can't focus. Moving so fast you don't get a chance to feel. Like any addiction, craving the stimulation. Never enough. Yet the message you are getting is that you are losing the verve, your edge seems to be dulling, nothing gets you going anymore.

The Sham SyndromeSM is especially common for all of us high achievers to ask ourselves. Especially for women who were raised with high expectations for their achievement. A sure burn-out scenario in the making!

Picture the mid '70's. I'm the prototypical corporate wife sitting on a park bench. I spend most of my time watching my wonderful kids circle round again for another try at the slide or walking the beam. I love being a mom. I know my greatest gifts to the world are these wondrous beings I am stewarding through life. Both so alive and bursting with their brand of greatness.

But I sure miss the action of my old life…I wonder if there's something wrong with me for wanting both. Am I an imposter? I find myself frequently drifting back to my days of leading educational breakthroughs, turning around a California school district, remembering great kids who triumphed over tough odds.

There were those moments when I thought I'd be found out for wanting a double life. But I knew this couldn't be all it would be for the next couple of decades for me. I wanted more: a chance to make my mark in the larger world and still be the best mom I could be. I wanted to be Super Mom in all her glory. I bought that archetypal motif hook, line and sinker! I went for it big time. But it wasn't so easy to achieve, as many of you know.

As you can imagine, I had to "own" my truth by myself. Nearing my 30th birthday, I knew that if I didn't tell the truth as fast as I could to myself, I would be no role model for my kids. I knew that I was already everything I could be as a mom, it was my core reason for being. What I didn't know was what I wanted to do next. Nor how to get there. I was yearning for Soulfood. I knew I wasn't alone.

To avoid going brain-dead or going on hold status for too long, I founded a fast growing Adult Center for Growth & Development in the corporate suburbs. It was perfect timing: Women came first. Then their men followed. Something very important was happening: transformation in progress.

Live a life you want to be.
--	Seal

Like so many of my peers, I was learning for the first time, that I, unlike my maternal ancestors, could make my place in the world of men as well as at home. My mother, a survivor of the Great Depression, strove to realize her 1950's "truth" of becoming the idealized "good housewife" as reflected on the pages of Good Housekeeping, Vogue, and Women's Day of her time. Bored and made wrong if she left home for the workplace, she had no choice at all. If she left the kitchen table she was a bad wife and a terrible mom. Believing this, left her with a life of deep depression and debilitating boredom.

But I had a choice. There were options like never before. Droves of us went back to school, started businesses, and got jobs. Many of us stayed home full-time waiting for our turn. It was an exciting time. I never once questioned my being the "real deal."

My tenure as leader of this transformative community grew me up really fast. I realized very quickly that we were the initiators of a shifting paradigm that would structurally change life in the future.

What has stayed with me to this day is the memory of far too many depressed and stifled women who were not trained for the future. Many of them suddenly widowed or divorced. Others caretaking and stuck in neutral. Most of the women didn't have a clue what they would do next. We were "women in waiting"…for the rest of our life to show up.

The guys were either curious or wanting to be sure their wives weren't being mesmerized into a "cult", or something more sinister.:) What transpired was a great awakening for all of us. We broke the communication barriers between men and women. We helped each other find the best of our many selves. We were all seekers and change makers. It was here that many of us became leaders of the future.

I learned my own truths and how to act on them. I was in 7th heaven. I was facilitating groups, counseling and coaching, writing and speaking. I learned so much about being a woman and being a leader…about success, joy, pride and profits. I honed my expertise in stewarding adults to tell their truth as fast as they can. It was a transformative time for everyone.

I became an entrepreneur almost by default. Wanting to be accessible to my kids, I chose not to be a full time student or to work for someone else. I thought the obvious solution was to create my own home-business model with women serving women. I wanted to prove to myself that I could be successful in a man's world, and then teach others how to do it too. A win-win in the making.

I started my own very successful jewelry manufacturing and direct sales business during these early years. My closest competition and templates were Mary Kay and Avon. Later I became the darling of boutiques and department stores. I had a two fold mission: I wanted to create something that would be a model of going for life to the fullest by unleashing my own potential, while adding value to the world. And, I wanted to create a platform for women to bring their gifts and contributions to the larger outer world. My dream was for women to lead the way. My more immediate goal was to bring women back into the workforce so they could have financial and self-independence. I knew how important it is to tell the truth about ourselves and our world as fast as we can.

Not once did I doubt my truth. Sham wasn't even in my vernacular. Everyone around me was bursting with potential. We were the "real deal"!

Recently I was invited to attend a women's gathering to learn about a "natural" brand of spa products and to meet women in my town. In didn't take long before I felt like I was experiencing a flash back to the '70s of my youth. Moms at various points along the Mommy-track came to check out a potential part-time career. Their yearning to develop themselves further was palpable. Each of them talked about what's next and wanting to add to the family coffers. No one there was single. Unlike my contemporaries, these women have had a taste of earlier careers and success in the outer world, now they want to begin their re-entry. All of them are searching for a clue to their next on-ramp.

Only a week later I'm thoroughly enjoying a totally different grouping of women. The only agenda was coming together to celebrate friendship and community. We were mostly over 40 yrs old, with many of us over 50. I didn't meet anyone who wasn't in some phase of motherhood. The evening's conversations wove around kids getting ready for college, midlife nests emptying, mid-career moves and local happenings. I'm one of only a few empty-nesters in the midst of mostly New Sixties moms-- Some still charging ahead in their careers, others eager to get into the next phase of their lives, shifting from diapers to briefcase, while others see the empty-nest looming, but haven't a clue where they were headed or with whom. Not quite a dejavu of my youth, but another version of the same theme song I heard so long ago.

If you'd like to read more on this topic, see my article, It's In Our Hands.

Everyone is talking. But saying nothing!
--	Roseanne Cash, Black Cadillac

Whether it's the Enron story, the latest of fall of a senator or a evangelical icon-we are being deluged with true stories about people who held onto truths, then fell from glory. Perhaps that's the only way a rebalancing of power in our democracy could have happened. But its not about our fallen icons really, it's about us. Perhaps these clay pigeons are mirrors for all of us. It's time we ask the hard questions of ourselves: Where in our own lives and work are we not telling the truth? What has to get fixed so we can?

I hear way too many of my clients and cohorts finding they got blinded by success intoxication and missed the right turns. Some self-sabotaged by not telling the truth of who they really are…others by not staying in sync with what really matters. When any of us fly too close to the sun, like the mythical Icarus, we get burned to a crisp.

In all the stories I hear, it's always when we don't listen to our own truth nor tell it as fast as we can, that we dance with disaster. I use a great instant on-the-go tool, what I call a "Truth Verifier", which has helped so many people get out of their heads and directly into their bodies to find their truth in the moment. I call this on-the-go tool, "Traffic Light". It takes both the facts and your inner knowing of your truth to make really conscious choices. Give my Traffic Light a try.

So many times I hear folks saying they don't know what they want. Yet we have all the info. we need internally to make most of our decisions. Most of us just haven't learned to trust ourselves enough to tell the truth quickly.

Sometimes our truth scares others. It's not intentional. We just want to keep growing and going.:) At times telling that truth is so hard. And risks seem insurmountable. Whenever I find myself holding back my truth by not fully expressing myself, I remind myself that time is flying by. After 9/11 our American innocence ripped away all in a flash, leaving us all to familiar with the notion that we only have "now". Yet its so easy to forget that when we get caught up the hub-bub of our lives. But when we stop to consider, its no surprise that this is the biggie truth that needs to drive all of us. It's what fuels me and keeps my juices pumping.

More often than not, we think that if we just don't tell the whole truth we can avoid the expected static or making waves. We convince ourselves that if we can just fly under the radar we'll get by unscathed. My client Petra, a very successful service provider, tried to get by not telling the whole truth in her new relationship. She tried it out on me in between discussing her plans to jettison the losing, money-eating clients in her portfolio. I responded: What a way to build a great relationship! Is there really a difference between a little untruth and a big untruth? Big or small untruths eat away at a foundation of any relationship.

I learned all too young that waves of change come when you least expect it. So taking a real good look at your world and mine is mandatory. We must start with ourselves…over and over again, telling the truth as fast as we can.

Invest in what matters.
--	American Century Investments

Traffic Light: When you find yourself unsure about someone or a situation, or you're unable to make a clear choice, try this tried and true "truth verifier".

No matter where you are, take a moment to center yourself. When you are ready, visualize a traffic light in your mind's eye. See the red, yellow and green darkened lights. Without rushing, ask yourself how you should proceed. Then wait to see which light shines bright. If yellow goes on, best not make any choice or proceed just yet. If it turns red, best get out of there asap. But if green lights up, step on the pedal and go for the on ramp.

Keep track of your results. Please let me know how it goes for you.